Is it too much.......

I truly dislike utter incompetence at doctors offices. I now have had to make another apointment, so now instead of 150 mile round trip, it will be 300 miles for this appointment. I am sure when I suggest they pay for my fuel they will have the same look on thier face as when I told them maybe the doctor should miss lunch, since I missed breakfast to be there on time. When a doctors office is moved across town, I do not think it is to much to expect a letter telling me the new address.

I had a total meltdown in the waiting room of the office, then as usual I got a little bit manic. My silver lining today....I did NOT put my fist through one of their walls. I was right at a hospital, so the broken hand would have been taken care of quickly, but they probably would have tossed me in a psych ward.

Silver Lining

I found my silver lining, it is not much, but sometimes a little thing can be enough. I have 6 purple flowers on my petunias. I was not sure I was going to get any flowers, because I have to grow them inside, otherwise all the outside critters eat them.

Yes I did have an emotional meltdown, I decided the only way to get through it was to let it wash over me. I was awake until 4:30 am before I could get to sleep. Four hours of sleep is not enough, but I will live.

Now tomorrow I will find another silver lining during the day, it is good to have some kind of goal, even one as small as trying to find a silver lining to something everyday.

Emotional Breakdown

So for the last few days I have had tears run down my face for no reason at all. Is it hormones, just plain sadness, feelings of neglect, or depression rearing its ugly head again.

I don't really know what is causing it, but I know I am winning, because I am not in a corner or my closet rocking back and forth. I am a fighter, (well sometimes) I am a survivor, it may not be called having a life, but every day on this side of the dirt is a good day. Now to find the silver lining in something, just anything will do.

Hope and change?

I did not believe it then, but change has come, just not for the better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1RZVw3no2A4

I hope I got the link right.